Cars Vs. Computers
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and
affection for the way computers have enhanced our
lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates
reportedly compared the computer industry with the
auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the
technology like the computer industry has, we would
all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the
gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued
a press release stating: If GM had developed
technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash
twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road,
you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would stall on the freeway
for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side
of the road, close all of the
windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the
windows before you could continue. For some reason you
would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left
turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
restart, in which case you would have to remove and
reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the
sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as
easy to drive -- but would run on
only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning
lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has
Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before
deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car
would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key
and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers
would have to learn how to drive all over again,
because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn
the engine off.
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and
affection for the way computers have enhanced our
lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates
reportedly compared the computer industry with the
auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the
technology like the computer industry has, we would
all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the
gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued
a press release stating: If GM had developed
technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash
twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road,
you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would stall on the freeway
for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side
of the road, close all of the
windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the
windows before you could continue. For some reason you
would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left
turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
restart, in which case you would have to remove and
reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the
sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as
easy to drive -- but would run on
only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning
lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has
Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before
deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car
would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key
and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers
would have to learn how to drive all over again,
because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn
the engine off.
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